08 November 2016

Plot Development

I stopped writing this blog because I couldn't find the endings. It wasn't a matter of time or concentration. I couldn't find them because they weren't there.

I wanted to give you the neat version of my life. You know, the tidy ending where I found out something deep about myself or got to know God better or helped someone overcome a life-changing problem. As a lover of literature, a good ending is very satisfying: not always neat, but the plot resolves enough that you don't want to strangle the author.

But the problem is that I'm not writing my life.

There is an end in mind, I've been promised, and it's worth waiting for. But here on the pages between the beginning and the end, it's messy.

Standing at the gate, watching J's face through the tiny door, through a gate I can't even open because it's broken, on a day when I was supposed to be at a women's retreat, listening to my kids upstairs singing instead of sleeping, listening to J tell me that his neighbors are going to wreck their house if he doesn't come up with $50 today...

That's messy.

Heartbreak is messy, and sometimes, you don't learn anything from it except that we live in a broken world. But here I am writing, because the plot's still developing. And there's foreshadowing yet that I'm not alone, that God hurts with me in the mess...even the messes I cause.

I'm not writing the story, but I'll tell it if I can.

1 comment:

  1. Love it, Christine....I love your honesty and realness....thank you, friend