02 April 2010

Spiders and cockroaches, and their merits

Author's note: I have not included pictures for the sake of those of you who are squeamish. You're welcome.

Today, I will weigh the merits of two categories of creatures, both of which I find annoying and, at times, frightening: spiders and cockroaches. Now, I hope you'll understand that when I say "spiders," you may conjure up a picture of a friendly daddy-long-legs...please be assured that this is NOT the kind of spider I'm talking about. "Spider" here means salad-plate sized creatures which are not only scary, they're fast as well.

Point 1: Both are reclusive, but the merit of the cockroach is that it at least has the decency to scatter when you turn on the light. Ignorance is bliss.
Point 2: Spiders eat other insects, but they can also try to eat you.
Point 3: Cockroaches often can't climb walls and are easier to kill, but they also carry disease. Oh: and some of them can fly. (Try not to think about it.)

Given these points, the merits of allowing these creatures to co-habitate with me has fallen far short of the disadvantages. I will now weight the options I am then presented with.

Option 1: Destruction (ideal)
Option 2: Inaccessibility due to hiding (far from ideal)
Option 3: Removal (acceptable)
Option 4: Capture (problematic*)
*Especially if you happen to capture them in the drawer containing your passports. How did they even GET in that drawer? Sigh.
*Especially if you forgot that cockroaches can fly, rendering your attempt at murder by a long fall off the balcony, a facilitated escape instead. Sigh.

Destruction seems to be the most illusive and failure carries the most risk.
1) A sleepless night.
2) Loud noises (i.e. shouting and shoe-smacking) that would awaken others, as these things inevitably happen at night.
3) A bite and/or trip to the l'opital (that's hospital for you non-Creole speakers).

Removal, then, seems to the best option. Benefits of removal include the spider's continued benefit to creation as a whole, as well as obedience to God's exhortation to take care of the earth. (Although if you could see this thing, I'm pretty sure that would be the last thing on your mind.) Risks include the spider's possible return. My successful removal of two spiders within the last 48 hours confirms my hypothesis.

Next week: Mosquitoes, and why they must die.

5 comments:

  1. I remember living in Houston and having roaches fly at me. Scared me to death. I don't know how you can get any sleep with all those bugs.

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  2. Wow, salad-plate sized spiders -- cool! Just like in the movies. Personally, I would like to see some photos. Of course, this is all easy for me to say, separated from said spiders by 3,500 miles. ;-)

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  3. I am so not even thinking about what insects we might encounter wherever we go. :) I remember the insects I saw in Nicaragua....especially a HUGE flying one in the middle of the night. I hear you can get used to it, however, I am unsure how at this time.

    -Kristine

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  4. Okay, so maybe they're only dessert-plate sized, according to David. :) I'll try to send you a picture the next time I see one, Dad!

    The only way to get used to it is to trust the Lord. Every night, I lie down and recite the last verse of Psalm 4, just as I learned it as a kid: "I will lie down and sleep in peace, / for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Sometimes, I need to say it more than once. :)

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  5. I think I may have passed out for a few minutes after I read "salad-plate sized creatures." You are so brave. Even though it may result is passing out again, I'd love to see a picture of one.

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